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"It's a paradox We're taught to focus on what we want and to take action until we reach our target Yet if we focus or hold on too tight to the target, it eludes our grasp and gets further and further awayWhat's a single gal or guy to do?I needed an answer so I called relationship coach Karen Jones I figured if anyone knew the answer she wouldKaren has been working with and listening to hundreds of single and married women for eight years through her 'The Heart Matters' coaching company When I asked her for an explanation of this paradox she explained it like this:"Think of it in terms of energy There is a flow to it; the more attached you are to an outcome, the more you squeeze the flow, and you either slow it down, divert it, or simply shut if off I like to use the imagery of being in the shower, and grabbing a bar of soap If you squeeze too hard the soap jumps out of your hand It's like that with relationships If you squeeze too hard around relationship energy it becomes too hard to hold Loosen your grip, and the soap (relationship) is there"She then went on to explain the solution"You have to decide you're just going to be happy in life, no matter what Make your life work now Do what you love to do, and spend time in ways that fulfill you One indirect benefit of that decision (and way of being), is this: that energy is very attractive You're doing things that interest you, which will create opportunities for you to meet people that you enjoy; men as well as women who'd be good to spend time withJust to clarify This doesn't mean you give up on your vision of having a happy, successful marriage You need to keep that dream alive in your heart It does mean you let go of the specific details you have pictured in your mind about your dream For example: your husband will be 6'2" tall and have blue eyes and blond hair, you'll have 2 kids - a twin boy and girl, and your house will be in this city on this street etc Trust that your vision will unfold and that it may look very different from your picture In fact, it's often better than what you could have possibly imagined"It's like this invisible fine-line exists While you need to clearly see and know what you want and take action to make your intention a reality, at the same time you have to be ok if you don't get it Expect to get it yet don't be attached to getting the outcome If you find yourself holding on too tight, just let go and enjoy life Love may find you Sue Bond shares dating stories, tips, dating site reviews, and news on what works and doesn't work in the world of online dating on her online dating site Check out the blog!For women who want to have the relationship of their dreams, visit Karen Jones at http://wwwtheheartmatterscom Article Source: http://EzineArticlescom/?expert=Sue_Bond ?>